In 2007, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez—two mega-directors in the horror movie genre—created a spectacular, two-piece, schlock masterpiece billed as Grindhouse. This three-hour homage to the exploitation phenomenon of the 1970s came in a classic drive-in-style, double-feature horror show format interlaced with fake trailers for would-be grindhouse movies. In the 70s, such movies were made to appeal to a decidedly lower denomination of moviegoers who preferred to have their movies fast-paced, violent and ultra-sexy.
Rodriguez’s Planet Terror and Tarantino’s Death Proof were punctuated with hilarious faux-trailers directed by Rob Zombie, Eli Roth and Edgar Wright. Preceding the whole affair is a trailer for a little film called Machete, a prospective grindhouse movie starring horror movie mini-star Danny Trejo as a dangerous ex-Federale who strikes up his eponymous weapon to take out a senator (played by Robert de Niro) intent on fighting illegal immigration with militant enthusiasm.
The full-length film (directed by Robert Rodriguez) expands on the bare-bones plot of the trailer by throwing in some conspicuous political commentary and cheesy violence galore. This tour de force of low-budget flamboyance culminates in a high-flying, ultraviolent, explosion-riddled ride with a veritable who’s-who of the action and horror genres. Aside from starring Rob Zombie’s number-one supporting man, Danny Trejo, Machete is littered with familiar faces from the action and horror genre’s highest (and lowest) walks: Robert de Niro (Taxi Driver), Jessica Alba (Sin City), Steven Seagal (The Patriot), Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar), Jeff Fahey (Grindhouse), Don Johnson (Miami Vice), Cheech Marin (From Dusk Till Dawn) and Lindsay Lohan (I Know Who Killed Me). Another surprising appearance is from makeup FX guru, Tom Savini, as a mercenary hired to kill Machete. With so much talent (whether legitimate or debatable) jam-packed into a single movie, it’s a wonder that Machete doesn’t sink into a quagmire of egotism and spotlight-hogging. Every actor plays their role with a dedication to the movie’s hammy aesthetic, taking a page from William Shatner’s acting textbook.
Although the original “fake trailer” and the feature-length film were made three years apart, the crew behind Machete managed to seamlessly splice scenes shot for the Grindhouse trailer with the new footage. A full-length version of Machete was hardly borne in the mind of Robert Rodriguez when the trailer was made, but Rodriguez succeeds in interweaving the original shots from the trailer without making the end result look like an obligatory afterthought.
What Machete lacks in class is made up for in preposterous action sequences and biting dark humor. In one sequence, Machete escapes a hospital by slicing open a man’s stomach and using his intestines to swing out a window. In another scene, Machete uses a weed-whacker to get himself out of a sticky situation with a couple of guards. Whenever the action slows, a shot or explosion kicks the movie back into gear.
With no shortage in booms, shots or bloodshed, Robert Rodriguez’s Machete serves up a relentless assault on the adrenal system. In the wake of Grindhouse and Machete, Eli Roth and Rob Zombie have expressed interest in making feature-length films of their respective faux-trailers: Thanksgiving and Werewolf Women of the SS.
You can count on me purchasing a ticket.
However, until those movies are made, cinema’s current front-running horror directors have created a marvelous catalogue of grindhouse movie tributes. Robert Rodriguez’s Machete is yet another masterpiece of schlocky, cheesy, icky, sticky, grindhouse magic.