Last Week Tonight Host John Oliver Dedicates a 21 Minute Roast for Donald Trump

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Maria Alvarez (12th), Reporter

The host of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver, had been avoiding for several months to speak about Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump on his show, until recently. Oliver did not hold back on any sort of remarks towards to candidate, dedicating an entire episode to the candidate, dissing his entire political and business career.

John Oliver compared Donald Trump to a back mole, explaining how it was harmless a year ago but now is a persistent problem that would not be wise to ignore. He began to degrade him by analyzing the viewpoints of his supporters and proving how accurate they were.

“Donald Trump can seem appealing, until you take a closer look. Much like the lunch buffet at a nightclub, or the NFL, or having a pet chimpanzee.”

Some of the Trump supporters that stated “he tells it like it is” were proven wrong by Politifact in varying degrees of wrong that 76 percent of his statements are

“Mostly False, False or Pants on Fire…”

Trump’s next selling point to be disproven was that he was self-funding his campaign. The presidential candidate stated in an interview that he has spent 20 to 25 million dollars on his campaign, which led to the analogy that since he’s rich, he tells the truth, having the same internal logic as to say if someone were vegan, therefore know karate.

While it was proven true that he has taken any money from large corporations, he has loaned to his own campaign 17.5 million dollars, and only personally given to the campaign around $250,000. Politico even proved that:

“Trump can pay himself back for the loan with campaign funds…”

Further disproving the claims made about Trump that he is tough, Oliver made a point that for a “tough guy”, he has thin skin.

“So how about the claim that he is tough, well again I’m not sure about that, because for a tough guy, he has incredibly thin skin.”

The biggest selling point to be disproven was his success. Although Trump has threatened to sue people for talking about his bankruptcy, which is about 18 billion dollars in debt, on his campaign page, it states:

“…Mr. Trump’s net worth is in excess of TEN BILLION DOLLARS.”

…written in all capital letters for emphasis, meaning it must be true if it is written in all capital letters. Trump’s net worth has been disputed many times, and yet the presidential candidate has said that it fluctuates, not based on big purchases or contracts, but by feelings.

The statement, taken directly from the lawsuit explicitly states that the estimate of his net worth fluctuates based on his feelings:

“…feelings, even my own feelings… and that can change rapidly from day to day.”

Oliver explained that someone’s net worth changing based on their feelings makes no sense whatsoever since Trump always seems to be in the same mood, “smug yet gassy”.

Oliver continued to roast the candidate by stating that he valued his brand, his own name, at three billion dollars. Although he validated his stance on saying that having value to name is not bad, but it shouldn’t be as ridiculous as selling a plain white t-shirt for $120 just because it was “designed” by Kanye West.

Continuing to dis Trump’s brand, Oliver showed various examples of “successes” that have been not so successful. For example, Trump Shuttle – which no longer exists, Trump Vodka – which was discontinued, Trump Magazine and Trump World Magazine – both folded, Trump University – which is being sued at the moment, and the travel booking site that only had a brief existence – GoTrump.com. The most ridiculous of all was Trump Steaks, which were said to be “The World’s Greatest Steaks” by Mr. Trump in an interview, and were to be sold at The Sharper Image, a store that sells high-tech lifestyle products.

Continuing on with the degradation of products Trump has unsuccessfully put out, Oliver continues his argument that just because an item of property has someone’s name on it does not mean it is necessarily under that person’s complete ownership. Oliver stated that Trump indeed said that having his name licensed to a building is better than actual ownership.

“…better than ownership…You don’t have to put up money. You don’t put up anything.”

Some of the buildings sell his brand highly, like his ocean resort in Baja Mexico that was never finished, but when it comes to quality, the meaning is never true to its word when it comes to Trump. The Trump Name Game, or so it was labeled as by Trump’s son Donald Trump Jr., said that the Trump name could lead people to believe that the project under the name was going to be a good investment. Coming back to the topic of his campaign slogan, Oliver said that perhaps the most accurate slogan there can be for Trump’s campaign is:

TRUMP 2016: I Don’t Know If It Brings Stability Or Viability, But I Imagine Certain People Feel That

Oliver persisted on the topic about Trump’s name and did not cease until he made up for all those month he did avoided speaking about Trump in such a manner that he has currently done. He continued that the Trump name has been built into a brand for decades that relates synonymously to success and quality.

“He has made himself the mascot for that brand, like Ronald McDonald, or Chef Boyardee. And that is who we have seen in The Apprentice, or Wrestle Mania, or Home Alone 2. But if he’s actually going to be the Republican nominee, it’s time to stop thinking of the mascot and start thinking of the man.

Oliver also pointed out Trump’s failure to recognize the leader of the KKK, David Duke, as a racist white supremacist, when Trump indeed knows who Duke is, which could lead people to think that he is racist, pretending to be, eventually having no difference between either in the future.

Warningly, Oliver insisted that if Trump continues to be the frontrunner for the Republican party, when he is elected into office January 20th, 2017, his opinion will matter and it will also be the day time travelers will come back from the future to stop the entire thing from happening.

Trump’s name, like previously said, associates with success and quality, and Oliver found a way to separate the two by bringing back the name one of Trump’s ancestors had when they came to America, Drumpf, relating the name to the sound of a fat pigeon hitting the window of a closed Old Navy store. Oliver continued on the fact the the name is much more reflective on the person that Trump actually is.

To finalize the diss, John Oliver pushed to have the hashtag #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain trend worldwide on social media and set out hats to sell with “Make Donald Drumpf Again” printed on it, on its own website named DonaldJDrumpf.com owned by John Oliver. There is also a chrome extension that, when installed, changes the name Donald Trump to Donald Drumpf whenever it is searched.

To close the show, Oliver said he awaits a lawsuit from Donald Trump for the extreme belittlement of his image during the entire episode.

Mr. Drumpf I await your lawsuit in the morning. And I have no doubt the complaint will be signed in gold sharpie. Goodnight!