Crystal Healing: The Hipsters’ Obamacare

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Crystal Healing: The Hipsters’ Obamacare

Caitlyn Cavanaugh (9th), Reporter

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Paying a visit to your doctor can be intimidating. From medications arise horrible side effects. And therapy is just way too expensive. Only one solution fulfills all of these needs: putting all your faith into a piece of rock and hoping for the best!

To translate the indisputable source of all scientific knowledge, *ahem, Tumblr,* naturally-formed crystals are most commonly used to either harmonize the energy surrounding you or to transmit positive energy on to another person or living entity.

They operate much in the way that house plants and animals do, in the sense that they indirectly brighten your state of mind.

Early pagan religions believed the gems had the capacity to revitalize one’s health, and the ancient Egyptians even buried their dead with certain crystals in hopes of reversing their deaths.

However, the tradition didn’t die with them. In 2016, many lost practices such as witchcraft and spiritual healing gained mass popularity once more.

According to a 2015 study by Pew Research Center, four in ten millennials followed an established religion, and of that portion, one in five observe practices that include talismans, such as crystals and rosaries.

Many experts believe that the younger generation are more drawn to customs like crystal healing, as it allows them to pull certain aspects from several faiths rather than conforming to the mold of organized worship.

Myths and folklore cite that throughout the millennia, crystals have harnessed the divine energy of the moon, sun, and oceans, and therein acquired the ability to rejuvenate one’s mind, body, and spirit.

Individual stones emit a unique natural vibration, and that pattern metaphysically manifests the being’s desired outcome. The human body also gives off a particular vibration, and when a crystal makes contact with the bare skin, its power overtakes the body, and provides a specialized aid to the host.

Yet, it is quite difficult to tell whether people truly believe in this approach to healing, or if crystals are like typewriters, or kombucha. No one actually likes them, but the facade is sooo hipster

“I guess because not everyone can afford modern technology to cure them, they rely on crystals, which are free,” said freshman, Claudia Reyna. “Well, if they have been used for so long, they must have worked at some point.”

“Maybe crystals don’t get rid of the negative energy in your life,” theorized freshman, Claire Knittel, “but you can use them as weapons to beat the negative people in your life to death.”

Whether this conviction is one of the wonders of the world or simply an example of the Placebo Effect in motion is debatable. But whether you choose crystals to alleviate any sufferings in your life, or just as a decorum statement, opening yourself to the possibility of self-enhancement and faith in something greater than yourself paves the way for so many prospects that you once thought of as unimaginable.

Or it will be like when you drink apple cider vinegar for a cold, and you end up even sicker than you were before, spending countless hours in anguishing, ugly-crying agony. But that’s completely up to you. Carpe diem, and all.

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Crystal Healing: The Hipsters’ Obamacare